


Fight or Flight

by achawla1981



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cancer Arc, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-11-13 16:59:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11189445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achawla1981/pseuds/achawla1981
Summary: Alex wants to spend forever with Maggie but she gets turned down. What is Maggie hiding? Alex and Maggie's relationship faces it's biggest test yet. Will Maggie let Alex be there for her and help her heal or will the old walls block her out?Canon compliant for the most part until 2X22. Canon divergent after that.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone back with my latest multi chapter story. This will be a little angstier than what I usually write but don't worry no break ups or contrived drama. Just a sad and scary situation that real life couples have to face - the fear of your partner getting sick and losing them. I do promise a happy ending.

Maggie’s POV

The loud, piercing sound of the police sirens on National City’s busiest street was in a strange way calming to me and made me feel like I was home. The Daxamite invasion had been defeated a few hours ago and my team and I were out on the streets trying to help the public resume their normal lives and provide whatever assistance we can.

 Alex was taking care of Kara at the D.E.O and I couldn’t wait to be done with my patrol duty so that I could go check up on them. I know Kara was devastated by the heartbreaking sacrifice she had to make in order to save National City and I wanted to be there with them to provide whatever moral support I could.

I never particularly warmed up to Mon El but he is clearly important to Kara and she is hurting over losing him. I faced a similar situation about a month ago when Alex almost died so I can empathize with the pain Kara is feeling right now.

I was startled out of my inner musings by the sound of my phone ringing.

“Sawyer” I answered quickly

“Detective Sawyer, this is Dr. Kelly. We were on lock down last couple of days because of the invasion so I couldn’t get back to you sooner. Your test results are in and I wanted to discuss them with you”

“What are we looking at?” I asked with the faintest hint of jitters in my voice.

“I think it’s best if we discuss this in person. Could you come by the hospital for a few minutes? I will be there till 6 pm”

“I will be there in 30 minutes” I agreed

I explained the situation to my partner who agreed to take over the rest of my shift and I drove to the hospital.

As I was walked the hallways of the hospital to Dr. Kelly’s office I couldn’t help but feel uneasy. The stark white walls and sterile atmosphere characteristic of hospitals had made me feel scared and uncomfortable since I was a child.

_Funnily enough I ended up dating a doctor_

Once I reached Dr. Kelly’s office I knocked on the door and waited to be called in.

* * *

 

“Come in” her voice called out.

I opened the door and entered trying to calm my nerves down “Hi Dr. Kelly. Glad to see you safe and sound” I greeted with a small smile.

“Detective Sawyer, it’s good to see you again. Please have a seat” she gestured towards a chair requesting me to sit down.

She opened a tablet and pulled up my medical records “Your test results came in and I wanted to discuss them with you”

I nodded indicating she should continue.

She starting pointing to various numbers in my reports and started explaining elevated levels of some markers which went flying straight over my head. I could tell that she was nervous about something and trying to buy time.

“Dr. Kelly, I have been coming to you for three years now. You are my doctor and I trust you. So, please be straight with me and stop hiding behind numbers. What is really going on?” I interrupted.

She took a deep sigh before finally speaking “As you know during your routine physical a couple of weeks back, we found a small lump on your left breast. We sent a sample for biopsy as routine precaution. We received the biopsy results today”

“And the verdict is?” I encouraged her to go on

“Maggie, we found the presence of malignant cells. The good news is we caught it very early and your biomarker levels indicate that are many treatments we could try” she put an arm on my shoulder reassuringly.

_I felt like I couldn’t see or hear anything_

_A feather could have probably easily knocked me over right now_

“So I have breast cancer?” I asked still in a state of complete shock.

“I am sorry Maggie. Please take the rest of today to absorb the news. I want you to come back tomorrow and get admitted in the hospital for more tests and scans so that we know exactly what we are dealing with. I am highly confident we can beat this thing as we caught it early”

“Do you give this speech to every dying patient Doc?” I snarked my dark humor making an appearance as my defense mechanism

“I truly believe we can fight this and win. But the only way we can do that is if you want to fight. Bring someone with you tomorrow for support. Don’t try and do this alone”

It felt like the room was starting to close in around me. I needed to get out of here.

“I need to get going, Dr. Kelly. I will call you tomorrow about coming in for the tests”

“Don’t give up Maggie. We will fight this disease” she gave me an encouraging smile.

“Thank you” I nodded before walking out of her office.

* * *

 

_I didn’t want to die._

_I faced loaded guns and crazy, dangerous aliens on a regular basis yet cancer still scared me._

As I was walking in a daze towards my car, my phone started to chime with the special ringtone assigned to Alex.

“Hey babe” I answered softly.

“Maggie, are you okay? I was trying your phone for the last 45 minutes but you didn’t answer. I was so worried”

“I was with the doctor discussing the results of my physical so I couldn’t pick up my phone” I explained

“Everything okay?” she asked concerned

“Yeah, all good” I lied.

_I couldn’t burden her with the news yet. Not when I barely understood it myself_

“How are you and how are things at the D.E.O?” I asked wanting to change the topic.

“Things are slowly settling down. Trying to stay close to Kara. She is torn up over Mon El” Alex sighed sounding physically and emotionally exhausted.

“I will be there in 15 minutes. We can then go home together” I offered.

_Though I couldn’t tell her what was really going on, I just wanted to be with her tonight_

_I needed the sense of safety and love that only she could provide_

“Sounds perfect babe. See you then” she responded before hanging up.

I stepped into the control room of the D.E.O looking for Alex but she was not there. I spotted Winn standing to the side and asked him where Alex as. He pointed towards the balcony.

As I climbed the stairs towards the D.E.O balcony I spotted Alex and Kara in deep conversation. I hung back as I did not want to interrupt their conversation. Kara needed her sister right now and I did not want to get in the way of that.

A couple of minutes later Kara flew off and I saw Alex staring into space with a sad expression on her face.

* * *

 

The need to comfort her overwhelmed me and before I knew it I was standing behind her and had wrapped my arms around her.

My heart melted at the way she sighed and just melted into my hug.

_I needed the comfort it was providing as much as she did_

After a peaceful moment of silence I tried to reassure her about Kara “She will be okay”

“I hope so” Alex sighed. I could tell her heart was hurting for her little sister.

“I know you Danvers girls. You are so strong” I said confidently

Before I could continue further, she interrupted me “Marry me”

_What now……I must have heard wrong_

“Excuse me” I said with an incredulous look on my face.

She pulled me closer and took my hand in hers “Seriously, Marry me. Please” she pleaded with the most earnest and honest expression on her face.

The please was so sweet and sincere it melted my heart.

There was only one answer I wanted to give and before my visit with Dr. Kelly that’s the answer I would have given without a second thought but now everything had changed.

_I still couldn’t believe it….Alex Danvers wanted forever with me, Maggie Sawyer_

_But how could Alex have forever with a ticking time bomb_

_I would rather she hate me than having her go through the ordeal of having to bury her wife._

I pull my hand out of hers “I am sorry Alex. I can’t”

I turn around quickly and walk away with tears in my eyes not having the strength within me to see the devastated look I know she has on her face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Danvers sisters are there for each other. Alex confronts Maggie convincing her she isn't going anywhere and finally gets Maggie to open up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who is reading the story and left kudos and comments.

Alex’s POV

To say I was having the day from hell would be a huge understatement. We had to suffer a huge amount of losses to defeat the invasion from psycho bitch Rhea, I saw firsthand the sheer helplessness and heartbreak Kara was dealing with and to top it all Maggie ripped my heart out of my chest and handed it to me.

I was swirling the glass containing a shot of bourbon in my hand but I couldn’t bring myself to drink it. I had promised Kara and Maggie I would not use alcohol as a crutch anymore when angry or upset and so far I had been sticking to my word. Anyway, the kind of stabbing pain I was feeling right now would not be numbed by a glass of alcohol.

In a way, the situation now was like a mirror image of the rejection after the kiss all those months ago. Except this hurt even worse.  At least after the kiss I got a reason for the rejection.  Now, she just said no and walked away without another word.

I know the proposal probably came across as impulsive and I understand if she needed the time to think. It’s not the fact that she said no that is killing me. It’s the fact that she thought I didn’t even deserve an explanation.

_Something is not adding up_

_She wanted a lifetime of firsts with me…there’s no way she will just say no without a good reason_

_She’s in some kind of trouble and she doesn’t want to tell me so she’s pushing me away_

_I need to find out what’s wrong_

I almost jumped off the couch when I heard a loud knock on the door. I sighed before picking up my gun and went to open it. When I looked through the peephole it was Kara. I lowered my gun and opened the door.

“Are you okay? I could tell by your heartbeat that you were upset so I wanted to check on you” Kara looked worried.

“Been better” I answered honestly not bothering to lie. Kara knew me too well so no point trying to tell a lie, she would figure it out anyways.

* * *

 

“What happened Alex? Why are you here alone? I thought you would be with Maggie” she asked sounding confused.

I took a deep sigh and could feel the wetness on my cheeks “I asked Maggie to marry me”

“You did what” Kara asked in shock.

“I know it seems impulsive but it’s not. I already know she’s the one I want to spend the rest of my life with so why waste six more months just to realize something that I already know. I want to make the most of every moment with her” I explained.

“You don’t have to justify it to me, Alex. I trust you and I get it. So, what happened?” Kara put a hand on my shoulder to show her support.

“She said she can’t and then just walked away” I mumbled each word feeling like a shard of glass further cutting my already broken heart.

“Oh Alex” Kara pulled me into a tight hug and I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I finally let the sobs come through. Kara and I clung to each other both of us crying over the sense of loss and heartbreak we were facing. At the end of the day, we were just grateful to have our safe place in each other where we could truly show our pain and grieve together.

“I don’t understand. Maggie loves you, Alex. You should have seen her when you were kidnapped. She was completely distraught at the thought of losing you and was willing to give up everything to save you. I can’t believe she could just walk away from you” Kara said clearly perplexed.

“Something is wrong Kara. She doesn’t want to tell me about it so she’s pushing me away” I reason.

“What do you want to do then?” she questioned.

* * *

 

“Tomorrow morning I am going to go see her and try to get her to open up. I love her too much to let her walk away without a fight. I am going to find out what is going on with her” I answer with complete resolve.

“Maybe you should give her some more time. You don’t want her to feel trapped and push you away even more” Kara countered.

“I can’t Kara. I know Maggie. The longer she is left to her own devices, the further she will withdraw and convince herself she is doing the right thing by pushing me away. So, I have to talk to her tomorrow”

“Okay. I support you either way” Kara gave me a small smile.

“Enough of the serious talk. I propose a movie with popcorn and ice cream and tonight we can lick our wounds. But tomorrow, we both get up and face the world” I said trying to lighten the mood.

“Sounds like a plan. But we are watching The Wedding Planner” Kara smiled cheekily.

_I was so thankful I at least got her to smile_

“Nope. No rom com crap” I put my foot down until I saw the huge pout on her face.

“Seriously Kara. The pout” I grumbled

“Did it work?” she asked hopefully.

“Fine brat. We can watch what you want. Lucky for you that you are cute” I muttered.

She just smacked a kiss on my cheek in response.

Cuddling under the blanket with Kara watching her favorite movie and eating rocky road ice cream did help soothe our aching hearts even if it was for just a little while.

* * *

 

Maggie’s POV

I was jolted out of my uneasy sleep by the repeated knocking on the door. I had finally fallen asleep at 5 AM after constant tossing and turning. The fear I felt about what was coming up and the knowledge that I had probably hurt Alex deeply made sleep hard to come by.

_Whoever it was at the door was extremely persistent_

I rubbed my eyes blearily and grumbled “I am coming”

On looking through the peephole, I saw Alex standing there with two coffees and a paper bag in her hand.

“Open up Maggie. I know you are in there” she knocked again.

I took a deep sigh to gain calmness and strength before opening the door “Danvers, what are you doing here?”

_She looked as bad I felt_

_The sight of her red rimmed eyes made guilt boil in my stomach._

“Last time I checked my girlfriend lives here. And I wanted to bring my girlfriend coffee and bagels. So here I am. Plan on letting me in?” she looked at me expectantly.

I moved aside so that she could enter and she placed the coffees and bagels on the dining table.

“This is not a good time Alex” I tried to steel myself “Maybe we can talk in the evening”

_A few more minutes in her presence and I would crack and tell her everything. I had to get her out right now._

“I know what you are trying to do Maggie and I am not going to let you do it” she turned to face me with a look of understanding on her face.

* * *

 

“And what exactly am I trying to do?” I challenged

“Something is wrong and you are upset about it. But instead of talking to me about it you are putting your walls up and pushing me away. You don’t need to do that, babe. You can tell me anything. Please don’t shut me out” she requested with a pleading look in her eyes.

“Normally the Dr. Phil and psychoanalysis stuff is cute Alex but I am not really in the mood right now for this” I responded coldly.

“Do you trust me Maggie?” she asks softly

“I trust you as much as I am capable of trusting anyone. Why do you ask?” I answer honestly. With my past I don’t know if I will ever trust anyone fully.

“All I know is the Maggie Sawyer I have gotten to know and am deeply in love with would not walk away from me without an explanation. Something is seriously troubling you and you don’t trust me enough to share the burden with you. You can tell me Maggie because I promise you this, I am not leaving you no matter how much you push me away” she declared seriously.

_I guess we are going to have this conversation now…..Alex is like a dog with a bone when she needs to know something and there is no dissuading her_

_“_ You are really stubborn. Anyone told you that?” I remark with a mixture of frustration and affection.

“Rich coming from you” she teases with a smirk.

_I can’t help but smile….my first real smile since I received the news._

“Why did you ask me to marry you Alex?” I ask both to satisfy my curiosity as well as to buy some time.

“I know it seemed like a spur of the moment thing Maggie but it’s not. I don’t need to think it through. We already said we want to have a lifetime of firsts together. I know what I want and that’s you. I know I want forever with you so why wait. And maybe for some reason you don’t want forever with me or you have doubts. It’s okay to have doubts or even not want to marry me but please at least tell me why” her earnest expression tinged with her old insecurity of not being good enough broke my heart.

_How do I let her keep on thinking I don’t want to be with her….it’s the farthest thing from the truth._

“I may not have a lifetime or forever to give you Alex” I sigh softly

* * *

 

She comes closer and puts her hands on my shoulders and looks me in the eye “I am here, babe. Just take a deep breath and tell me”

“I have cancer” I breathe out shakily.

_There I said it….it’s out in the open_

_Please don’t leave me_

The news obviously hits Alex hard. She looks as if I punched her in the gut. Before I can say anything more, I feel myself being pulled into the tightest embrace I have ever received. It feels like being enveloped in a warm, safe cocoon and the dam within me breaks. For the first time since yesterday, I truly let myself feel and the sobs come bursting out. I can feel my tears soaking Alex’s shirt but I don’t want to let go.

Alex just keeps rubbing my back and soothing me “It’s okay babe. Let it all out. I am not going anywhere. We will fight this together”

I pull back at that “It’s not your battle to fight Alex. You deserve better” I sniffle

“It is my battle to fight since it involves you. You really thought you having cancer would change how I feel about you? We both have dangerous jobs and could get killed by a stray bullet tomorrow. So why would cancer scare me. I am in love with you and I am going to be there with you every step of the way and we are going to fight this. There’s no getting rid of me, Maggie Sawyer” she stated resolutely.

“What if I only have a few months” I voice my biggest fear.

“I would rather have six months of loving you than fifty years of loving someone else” she lightly played with my hair

* * *

 

“You are such a cheeseball, Danvers” I couldn’t help but laugh before pulling her into a deep kiss. She poured all her love and support into the kiss and I drew on it like a soothing balm.

“Only for you, Detective Sawyer” she shrugged after we had caught our breath.

“I know you are scared Maggie. I am scared too. But you are not alone. If you need space, I will give you space but I am not going anywhere. All I ask is that you talk to me” she continued.

“I will try” I nodded gratefully. “I have a doctor’s appointment at 2 pm today” I shared making an effort to be more open with her.

“Okay, I will call J’onn and take the day off. I am coming with you”

I opened my mouth to protest but shut it when she shot me a warning look.

“I love you Alex Danvers” my voice was choked with emotion.

_I still can’t believe for the first time in my life I finally have someone who loves me enough to stay_

_With her by my side I am finding the strength to fight_

“I love you too” she gave me a light kiss before pulling away with a huge yawn.

“Sorry” she grins sheepishly.

“You look exhausted Danvers. Did you sleep at all last night?” I ask concerned.

“Not really” she looks down at her feet and I can see the hurt still present in her eyes.

_I hate that I caused her so much pain….we needed to talk about it but now was not the time._

_We were both too emotionally fried._

“We have a few hours before we have to go to the hospital. Let’s take a nap” I took her hand and led her to the bedroom.

We pulled the covers and got into bed. Alex quickly pulled me into her chest clearly indicating she wanted to hold and protect me. I contentedly snuggled into her and felt my eyelids starting to droop closed.

_I don’t know what kind of hell was waiting for us on the other side but for now nestled safely in the arms of the love of my life I was in heaven_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie and Alex go to the hospital to meet the doctor. Alex tries to distract Maggie in an unexpected way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is fluffier and lighter as a breather before stuff gets real in the next one.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who is reading the story and left kudos and comments. The support means a lot.

Maggie’s POV

As I stepped into the hospital lobby holding on tightly to Alex’s hand, we were greeted by stark white walls and lights that were just a little too bright. On the way to the doctor’s office we passed by the cafeteria and could sense the great hustle and bustle. There were nurses having coffee and a snack between shifts, residents taking a breather, interns finishing a long shift with a sandwich and worried relatives needing a break from waiting for news of critically ill loved ones.

On reaching Dr. Kelly’s office I knocked softly as her office door was closed.

“Come in” she called out.

Alex and I opened the door, stepped inside and then carefully closed it.

_I hated it when people banged doors shut._

Dr. Kelly looked up from the journal article she was reading “Hi Maggie. Right on time. How are you feeling?”

“I have had some time to digest the news and I feel a little less disillusioned and blindsided. I want to fight this. Also, this is my girlfriend Alex” I introduced them with a smile.

They greet each other with a shake of the hand and a smile.

“I am so glad you have decided to fight, Maggie and that you brought a loved one with you. The love and support of family is just as important in healing you as the treatment” Dr. Kelly smiled encouragingly.

“Me too” I smile softly at Alex.

_Thank god for this persistent, stubborn woman_

“Today, I want to run some more blood tests as well as an ultrasound, bone scans and CT scans. These will help us assess not only the tumor in your breast but also to make sure the cancer has not spread to other organs in the body. Based on our findings, we will then come up with a treatment plan” Dr. Kelly explained her plan of action.

“Okay. Let’s do this” I agreed with a nod of my head.

* * *

 

I noticed that Alex had been listening intently to the plan but then spoke up with a slight shake of her head “Sorry to interrupt Dr. Kelly but I think it would be a good idea to do a brain MRI as well. It’s the best way to make sure that the tumor hasn’t spread to the brain”

Dr. Kelly looked intrigued “That was going to be the next thing I mentioned but you were one step ahead. Are you a doctor?”

“I went to med school but I don’t practice” Alex answered.

“I know other people who did that. Where did you get your MD from?” Dr. Kelly asked curiously

“I was in the MD/PhD program at Stanford” Alex said simply obviously not wanting to divulge more detail.

“It’s definitely a small world. I got my MD from Stanford too. You must have been a couple of years after me” Dr. Kelly laughed.

“Small world indeed” Alex agreed with a smile.

_I rolled my eyes internally as I saw them discretely try to size each other up in the way doctors do to one another._

I was saved from the staring match when a nurse entered the room with a friendly smile on her face “I can take you for your tests if you are ready, Maggie”

“Can I come too” Alex asked

“Yes, you can be with her while I draw the blood and then you can wait in the waiting room while we do the different scans” the nurse explained.

Alex and I both got up and followed the nurse as she led us out of the doctor’s office into the lab area.

I started to feel a little squeamish as I saw the nurse getting the supplies ready to draw my blood.

Alex must have noticed as she gently took a hold of my hand “You okay babe?”

“Not a big fan of needles” I murmured

_It was still really hard for me to admit to any weakness_

“Just look at me and squeeze my hand, okay” she gently smiled

“Okay” I nodded gratefully

* * *

 

The next couple of hours were harrowing as I was put through scan after scan and this time I couldn’t have Alex with me in the room to help calm me. The worst was definitely the MRI. I had to close my eyes as being passed through the huge dome was making me feel claustrophobic. I definitely heaved a sigh of relief when the nurse informed me they were done with their scans and I could change back into my regular clothes.

As I walked into the waiting room where I knew Alex was waiting for me, I noticed Dr. Kelly was standing next to her.

She smiled when I walked up to them “We are done for today Maggie. We will have all the results by tomorrow. I have also called in the best oncologist I know and she will be here tomorrow to meet you. I will have the nurse set up an appointment for tomorrow afternoon at 3 pm”

Alex and I said goodbye to Dr. Kelly before exiting the hospital and walking to our car.

My mind was preoccupied and I was staring out of the window while Alex drove.

_The waiting for the results was driving me crazy_

_I needed to know what I was dealing with_

I finally noticed we were not heading in the direction of Alex’s apartment “Alex, your apartment is the other way” I pointed out confused.

“Maggie, if we go home right now all we are going do is sit around and worry about the results. So, I have another plan”

“Alex, I am not really in the mood” I protested

“You will like it. Just trust me” Alex smiled

I just sighed and sat back in my seat resigned to my fate.

I couldn’t believe my eyes when we finally reached our destination.

“Seriously Alex. A roller skating rink. How did you know?” I asked with a huge smile on my face.

“I remember you telling me once that you loved roller skating as a kid. I know you feel sometimes that I don’t hear you but I do try my best to listen, Maggie”

“Thank you” I said sincerely.

“Anytime babe” she tugged me by my jacket into the softest kiss.

* * *

 

Alex’s POV

I was thrilled at the infectious smile on Maggie’s face as she tugged me by the hand to go rent roller skates.

Once we were skated up and out there, it was abundantly clear that Maggie was in her element as she glided around gracefully.

I, on the other hand, preferred to stand in the corner holding on to a railing hoping no one would notice me or accidentally bump into me.

My luck ran out pretty quickly as Maggie pulled up to stop next to me “The point of skating is to actually get out there and move, Danvers” she laughed

“You go ahead, Maggie. I will warm up a bit and then join you” I tried to buy time.

“Warming up also involves moving. You have been standing here in the same spot for the last five minutes” she helpfully pointed out.

_Busted_

_Time to fess up….there was no way out_

“I don’t know how to skate” I mumbled

“What was that? Couldn’t quite hear you” she giggled

“I don’t know how to skate” I repeated more clearly with a scowl.

“Aww I finally know one thing Alex Danvers is not good at. If you ask nicely, I will teach you maybe” she laughed her eyes shining with mirth

“You are going to milk this for a while aren’t you?” I shook my head

“Someone keeps on reminding me of my lack of pool skills so turnabout is fair play” she shrugged with a mischievous smile “Now, come on, let’s get out of there. I will help you”

“I am fine here” I insisted.

“Come on Danvers” she grabbed my hand and tugged me with her with a roll of her eyes.

* * *

 

 “Okay.. you are okay’’ Maggie whispered. She was holding me from the back. She had her arms wrapped around my hips. The feeling of her skin next to mine was intoxicating.

 “Maggie.. please don’t let go. I think I am going to fall” When I tried balancing my left foot on the skates, my right would move to the side making me lose my balance again. Every time Maggie would feel me tilting towards the side she would slowly position me again. I officially felt like a 10 year old.

 “Balance is the key…you used to surf. Just trust yourself” I felt her breathe in my ear.

 “You sound like my high school P.E. teacher.” I giggled.

 “Now” Maggie took her right hand and slowly tapped my thigh. “Keep this leg straight… and then with your left leg try to push off to the side or forwards.” She carefully explained.

  _Oh God_

“Maggie please don’t let go…” She moved towards the front and was holding both of my hands.

 “Try it slowly at first… I won’t let go..” I felt the grip of my hands on hers tighten

_Hmmmm I get a good view of her boobs from this angle_

_Her cleavage is seductively distracting._

_Focus Alex_

_Focus._

 I carefully put a little weight on my right foot and slowly pushed my left foot.

_Yay I am moving._

“Awesome babe…you are doing it…. I won’t let go” Maggie was slowly skating backwards as I was moving forwards.

 “How do I stop?” I asked curiously.

 “There is a rubber stop at the heel… slowly put pressure there.” She explained.

 “Oh crap…” I almost tripped and now I was practically in her arms.

_Not that I am complaining_

 “I said slowly…” She chuckled.

 I felt myself turn red

 “Maggie.. I think this is a bad idea”

 “Danvers, I am pretty patient” She slowly got me situated again. “Let’s try again.” She warmly smiled and it made me weak in the knees instantly.

* * *

 

 I did the same thing she instructed me to do earlier and I felt myself smoothly move. I slowly brought my skates together and gradually applied pressure at the back of my heel and felt my self stop  almost perfectly.

  “I told you… you could do it…” Maggie was beaming with pride.

 “We can try it again but when I am all ready …you could let go of my hand…” I confidently said

 “Are you sure?” She was slowly moving backwards as I kept moving forward.

 I felt my speed slowly increasing and slowly let go of Maggie’s hand.  She moved to the side and started pacing behind me.

  _This feels incredible._

_The balanced motion and the atmosphere._

_This gives me the same sense of freedom as surfing_

 I loved how the cement gave me perfect friction without putting a lot of effort on my skates. I just needed to maintain the balance.

 “Danvers not too fast… slow down a bit…you don’t have to win a world championship on your first day” Maggie yelled behind me.

 “I know, I am trying to slow down!” I yelled back.

 The speed picked up faster than I had imagined. I kept my concentration on the balancing of my skates but I could feel that I was about to tilt sideways anytime.

 “Alex!... you need to brake! Use your heel…” I heard Maggie panting in the back.

  _Ouch._

_Shit._

_Shit._

_This is gonna hurt._

 I completely forgot about braking _slowly_.

_That little detail slipped my mind in the heat of the moment_

 I abruptly put the weight of my heel towards the back and instantly felt myself fall to the left.

* * *

 

 “Ouch..Maggie…” I gritted through my teeth.

 “Damn… let me see…” Maggie was taking off my skates and I felt like a complete moron sitting the ground.

  _In front of everybody._

_Public humiliation….meet Alex Danvers_

 “Ouch!!” I screamed and Maggie instantly removed her hand from my right ankle.

“Let me look. It’s a mild sprain” I said after looking carefully at my ankle.

 “This is just great” I said taking off my helmet.

I could tell Maggie was trying hard not to laugh.

“It’s not funny jerk” I grumbled

 “I am sorry babe but it kind of is” Maggie laughed as she took of my knee pads.

I saw Maggie take out her phone and dial a number.

“What are you doing?” I asked inquisitively

“Calling Kara. You will need a ride home” she explained.

“No, I don’t want her to see me like this” I protested.

“Too late. She’s on her way” Maggie shrugged.

Two minutes later Kara touched down in her Supergirl costume much to the delight of the kids present.

“What happened to you, Alex” she looked concerned as she came up to me

She scanned my ankle with her X-ray vision “No break” she said confidently

“Thank god” I sighed

“So, what happened” Kara repeated her question

“I am not quite sure. I think Alex Badass Danvers here thought she could nail a speed skating record her first time skating but she ended up landing on her tailbone instead” Maggie teased

Kara was obviously trying to keep her composure but the next thing I know she and Maggie are clutching on to each other howling with laughter with tears streaming down their cheeks.

“Ha ha glad you are finding my pain amusing, brats. Now can someone help me up” I glared at them

Kara finally controlled her laughter and picked me up carefully bridal style before flying me home.

_I would take public humiliation any day if it meant I got to see the two most important people in my life laugh freely like that._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex confides in her space family. The test results are revealed. The oncologist turns out to be someone unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter sets up the next couple of chapters.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who is reading the story and left kudos and comments. The support means a lot

Alex’s POV

To say I was dead tired would be an entirely accurate statement. It was shaping out to be one of those days where you wish you had never gotten out of bed and stayed snuggled under the covers with your very sexy girlfriend.

It was only 11 am and I had already led three missions from the command center. I had to quarterback through the coms as my ankle was still throbbing from yesterday’s graceful fall so I couldn’t go out in the field with my team. All the hostiles were captured and no one from the D.E.O was dead so all in all I would call it a win.

_I should probably quit while I am ahead_

“Nice work everyone” I praised tiredly through the coms.

“Good work Alex. How is the ankle holding up?” J’onn walked up to me with Kara in tow

“I have dealt with worse” I shrugged “I am glad you are both here together. There is something I need to talk to you about”

They share a look of curiosity before nodding at me indicating I should continue

“I need to leave early today. Also, in the coming months I will probably work shorter hours. I may even need to take a leave of absence” I state simply

“Something’s wrong isn’t it? You have been acting strange the last couple of days. Please tell me you are okay Alex” Kara looks completely petrified

“I am okay Kara” I quickly reassure her “It’s not me, it’s Maggie” I sigh

“What happened to Maggie? Anything we can do to help?” J’onn asks quickly before he and Kara share a concerned look

* * *

 

“Maggie has cancer. She just found out about a week ago. They ran a full battery of tests on her yesterday and we get the results today so we should know exactly what we are dealing with” my voice breaks towards the end

“Oh Alex” Kara sighs. I feel myself tugged into a tight three way hug

Surrounded by my sister and my space dad I let myself soak in the comfort only family can provide and truly feel my fear and pain.

_Since I heard the news I have kept up my brave face since I needed to be strong for Maggie. But the truth is I am scared to death._

_I just needed to allow myself this moment of acknowledging that fear before I could go back to being what Maggie needed_

We pull apart after a few minutes. “Whatever you need Alex. You and Maggie are not alone in this. Let us help you in whatever way we can” J’onn lays his strong hand on my shoulder as a show of support.

“J’onn is right Alex. Maggie is part of the family now and it’s about whatever she needs” Kara states earnestly

It melts my heart to hear them acknowledge her as part of our mish-mash, close knit space family.

“Your support means the world to me so thank you. We just have to be strong for Maggie and let her know each step of the way that she’s not alone even if she tries to push us away. We have to keep this quiet and even James and Winn can’t be told. Maggie is a very private person and she won’t like them knowing” my tone indicates how serious I am

“That is fine Alex” J’onn agrees with no hesitation.

Kara starts to squirm on the spot as she realizes both J’onn and I are staring her down.

“What? I can keep a secret” she says a little too defensively

I simply continue to stare her down

“Okay fine. I will be extra careful” she mumbles

“Thank you” I smile victoriously.

* * *

 

Maggie’s POV

I was on my fourth cup of coffee for the day as I paced outside the doctor’s office. I was here 15 minutes early and was waiting for Alex as we had decided to meet here. I just couldn’t focus. Yesterday Alex had managed to distract me first with the amazing roller skating experience and then caring for her injured ankle. But now all I could think about was what the test results would show.

Disgruntled with my lack of ability to focus I decided to call Alex and check where she was.

“Right behind you babe” she answered and I actually jumped a bit in surprise as she approached me.

“You walk like a freaking ninja. Always sneaking up on me. I need to put a bell around your neck so that I know when you are coming” I complained

“Oh trust me babe, you know when I am coming” she winks with a naughty smile on her face

“Danvers, not the time for this” I punch her shoulder while shaking my head

“Being a ninja is part of the D.E.O training” she shrugs “Plus I think you were lost in your own world hence the world famous Detective Sawyer couldn’t detect for once” she teases

I just glance down and sigh.

“I know you are scared Maggie. I am too but whatever the news is we will face it together. I am right here with you okay” she takes my face in her hands and places the softest kiss on my lips.

_I am once again amazed at her ability to anticipate what I need at a given moment_

“Let’s do this” I square my shoulders before taking her hand and leading her into the doctor’s office.

* * *

 

Dr. Kelly smiles at us as we enter her office. Once the pleasantries are out of the way she gets down to business “The oncologist Dr. Williams is flying in from Metropolis but her flight is slightly delayed. She should be here in 30 minutes. I could brief you on the results so that you have some time to digest them before we meet with her or we could just wait for her to get here before discussing the results. It’s up to you”

“Please tell us now” I quickly answer. There’s no way I could deal with the stress of not knowing for another 30 minutes.

“The good news is the tumor in your breast is very likely treatable with chemotherapy and radiation in my opinion. We may not need to do surgery. The final treatment plan of course will be made by the oncologist”

“And the bad news is” I ask leadingly. I have been involved in enough interrogations to know this tactic very well.

_Alex squeezes my hand in support but stays silent. I can tell she is dying to ask questions but is letting me set the pace at which we receive the news._

_I am extremely grateful to her for that._

Dr. Kelly pauses for a moment before answering “The MRI scans show the presence of two small tumors, one in the liver and one in the brain. Your cancer has started to metastasize” she looks down sadly

_I feel like I just got knocked out by a 10 foot K’hund_

_“_ How can that be? You said we caught it early enough” I demand trying to make sense of everything that is going on. None of it is sinking in right now.

“We did catch it early Maggie but that’s the trouble with cancer. It’s completely unpredictable. Sometimes even the smallest tumor can metastasize at an alarming rate” she tries to explain.

“But I don’t have any symptoms….no headaches nothing” I argue

_A brain tumor should at least cause headaches…..right???_

“The tumor is too small to cause symptoms yet. And that’s the good thing. I am very hopeful that we can knock out both of the mets with chemotherapy. We can fight this Maggie. You just have to be strong and believe” Dr. Kelly comes over and holds my hand trying to give me strength.

“What’s the plan. How do we fight this?” I ask trying to mask the quiver in my voice.

_I wasn’t going to let cancer take me down that easily_

_“_ That’s the spirit and exactly what I wanted to hear” Dr. Kelly smiles approvingly

“Sorry I am late. The traffic from the airport to here was terrible” An attractive brunette in her late 20’s comes bursting into the room.

_She must be the oncologist_

“Dr. Williams glad you reached here safe and sound” Dr. Kelly greets her with a hand shake

She is about to introduce us to Dr. Williams when I notice Dr. Williams looking Alex up and down as if trying to place her.

“Alex…Alex Danvers is that you?” she asks in shock

Alex’s brow is furrowed as she tries to make the connection

“Vicki?” Alex finally breathes out in disbelief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vicki explains her treatment plan to Maggie and Alex. Alex and Vicki try to clear the air. Alex is there to hold Maggie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to get real :(
> 
> Thanks to everyone who is reading the story and left kudos and comments. The support means a lot.

Maggie’s POV

Dr. Kelly looked on awkwardly as Vicki and Alex were still staring at each other in shock almost as if in a catatonic state.

Dr. Kelly cleared her throat to try and break the spell and gain their attention.

“So you two know each other from before?” Dr. Kelly was obviously trying to make conversation and break the tension that had set in the room since Vicki’s arrival

“You can say that” Alex murmured

“Yeah, we go way back” Vicki agreed just as softly

Apparently undeterred by the unenthusiastic responses she received, Dr. Kelly soldiered on “Let’s get back to the case then. Vicki, this is Detective Maggie Sawyer, NCPD’s finest and you already know Alex. Maggie, this is Dr. Victoria Williams, one of the best oncologists in the country and an esteemed colleague”

Vicki shook my hand with a smile on her face “Nice to meet you, Maggie. Did Dr. Kelly bring you up to speed on the results?”

“Nice to meet you too, Dr. Williams. Dr. Kelly had just finished briefing us on the results when you arrived” I smiled back.

“Please call me Vicki. Dr. Williams makes me feel old and I think we are going to be seeing enough of one another where we can be on first name basis” she requested with a short laugh

“After taking a look at your scans and lab reports, I strongly recommend we start a regimen of chemotherapy and radiation as soon as possible. Based on your age and otherwise excellent health, I would advise we be far more aggressive with the chemotherapy than we would normally be for other patients. The cancer is clearly aggressive as it has already started metastasizing so we need to hit it as hard as we can as early as possible. I won’t lie and say the chemotherapy won’t be rough but I think it will be worth it in the long run” Vicki explained.

“When you say rough what exactly am I going to be dealing with?” I interrupt

_I needed to know how bad things could get so that I could mentally prepare myself_

* * *

 

“Chemotherapy drugs in addition to attacking and killing the cancer cells, also unfortunately do end up killing regular, non - cancerous ones as well. You could experience nausea, fatigue, hair loss, skin bruising and bleeding, nerve pain and loss of appetite” Vicki tried to explain in as much detail as possible.

“Sounds like a picnic” I snarked

“It will be tough, I admit but we will be here along with your family to get you through it. Also, given the nature of your job, you would need to transfer to desk duty once the treatment starts. It would not be safe to try and go out in the field”

_Well that’s just perfect_

_This just keeps getting better and better_

“Isn’t there another treatment which would let me keep doing my job in the field” I protested

“I am sorry Maggie, I wish there was but there isn’t. We have to attack the cancer in the best way we know how and that will require some adjustments on your part” she answered sadly “Take the rest of today and tomorrow to let the situation sink in but I would like to have you admitted the day after tomorrow for your first session of chemotherapy”

I just stared straight ahead feeling out of control and slightly overwhelmed.

Alex obviously picked up on my state of mind as she squeezed my hand before answering Vicki so that I wouldn’t have to “I think that’s a good idea but before we go I had a quick question. I noticed that you did not address her HER2 levels. If the breast tumor is HER2 positive vs. HER2 negative the drugs used for treatment would be different. It would be great if you could shed some light on that”

_Uh oh…..the temperature in the room seems to have dropped 10 degrees._

“Excellent observation Dr. Danvers” Vicki grimaced “I must be more jet lagged than I thought as it seems I did forget to address her blood levels of HER2. But we can always trust Alex Danvers to be quicker and smarter than everyone else so no harm done” she continued in a mixture of sarcasm and passive aggressiveness.

She obviously knew the right buttons to push as Alex’s expression turned murderous.

_I don’t know what the hell had happened between those two but they needed to get in a room and clear the air_

* * *

 

“To answer your question Alex, her tumor is HER2 positive so we will be proceeding accordingly. Also, I have been working on a drug for HER2 positive breast cancers and we are currently conducting clinical trials. I would encourage Maggie to consider enrolling as the initial results have been extremely promising”

“Thanks Vicki. I will definitely give it some thought. I will see you the day after tomorrow” I got up quickly and tugged Alex out of the room before she and Vicki decided to start sniping at each other again.

“What was that in there?” I ask Alex once we are out of ear shot

“What was what?” she shrugs looking confused

“Danvers, you were bit of an ass in there. You can’t keep questioning whether my doctors know what they are doing. I have to work with them for the next few months and I don’t want them pissed off at us” I said feeling frustrated.

“Vicki missed explaining an important result which is critical to the course of treatment. Did you just expect me to turn a blind eye to that and keep my mouth shut?” she questions incredulously

“But you could have been nicer about it. It came across as a passive aggressive jab and her response was equally bad. What is it with you two anyways? You were both acting like grumpy toddlers in there. How do you know Vicki?” I ask needing to get some answers.

“Maggie, my main focus is to help you beat the cancer and get better. I am not here to win a popularity contest and if in order to help you get the best treatment, I have to ruffle your doctor’s feathers a few times, so be it” Alex sternly replied “Remember I once told you about my best friend in high school who I probably had a crush on”

“Yeah” I nodded

“Well that was her….Vicki Donahue” she sighed

“Wow that explains a lot. You definitely had some vibes going on in there” I laughed

“It’s not funny” she grumbled

“It kind of is. Not bad Danvers. She’s cute” I couldn’t help but tease

“You are way cuter” she insisted “I freaked out in our senior year when I started feeling things for her and I picked a stupid fight. We hadn’t spoken after that till today and she obviously still hates my guts” Alex finally starts opening up about what had happened between her and Vicki.

“You guys definitely are competitive with each other. What happened, did you steal each other’s lunches or were you competing to become President of the debate club?” I tease trying to lighten the atmosphere a little bit

“Pfft debate club” she scoffs “It was science club”

“Nerd” I roll my eyes affectionately

“Guilty as charged” she shrugs “Let’s get you home”

“I think you need to talk to Vicki first and clear the air. If she is going to be my doctor, I can’t have you two at each other’s throats. Just try talking to her” I request

She is silent for a couple of moments before she releases a long sigh “You are right. Let me get you home first though”

“I am not an invalid and can get home myself. Please don’t baby me Danvers” I argue with a slightly annoyed expression.

“I didn’t mean it that way Maggie. I was just trying to look out for you” she raises her hands in surrender

“I know you were but when I tell you I can get home by myself I need you to believe me. Now go talk to Vicki. I will see you at home” I place a quick kiss on her lips before walking towards the elevator.

* * *

 

Alex’s POV

I knock on the door to Dr. Kelly’s office hoping Vicki is still in there and that she is alone.

_The sooner we get the awkward talk over with the better_

“Come in” Vicki calls out.

I open the door and quietly enter “Hi Vicki, do you have a few minutes. I think we need to talk”

“Sure” she nods with a wary expression on her face. “You should have just told me in high school, you know and all of this could have been avoided” she begins

“Told you what” I ask genuinely confused

“That you were gay. What were you scared of, that I would have shunned you and treated you differently. It wouldn’t have mattered to me Alex. Instead you picked a dumb fight with me so that you wouldn’t have to tell me and we both ended up losing our best friend” the hurt could still be clearly seen on her face even after all these years.

“I am sorry Vicki but I didn’t tell you because I didn’t even know it myself back then. I only acknowledged to myself that I was gay just under a year ago. I started having these feelings for you and I had no idea what they were or how to deal with them so I lashed out and pushed you away. I really regret losing your friendship and I am so sorry. I was a huge ass” I sincerely apologized hoping she would see my genuine regret.

“Yes you were a huge ass but I accept your apology” she agrees with a smirk.

“And I am also sorry about today. I could have asked my question in a better way” I continued wanting to clear the air as much as possible

“It’s okay Alex, I was equally defensive in my response and so let’s call it even and move on” she offers.

“Now that Maggie is not here, please be completely straight with me Vicki. What are we really looking at?” I ask wanting to get a completely honest, no holds barred assessment of Maggie’s condition.

“I am worried that the cancer has metastasized so quickly. It is clearly aggressive. Her best bet is to enroll in my clinical trial. The treatment is very aggressive and is going to be brutal on her but the initial results have far exceeded my expectations. You have to help convince her. I feel traditional chemotherapy and radiation may not be enough” Vicki sighs while rubbing her forehead

“Then we will convince her” I nod my head resolutely

“Yes, let’s meet the day after tomorrow and go over the clinical trial details. I should get to the hotel and get some sleep and you should get home to Maggie” she smiles tiredly.

“We should get coffee sometime and catch up. A lot of years to catch up on” I further extend the olive branch.

“As long as it’s not hospital coffee” she shudders

“Deal” I laugh

* * *

 

When I finally get home, I notice that the apartment is dark and none of the lights are switched on. I finally spot Maggie sitting on the couch with her knees pulled up into her chest staring blankly into the darkness. I quickly put the light on which seems to startle her.

“Oh, hey Danvers, you are home” she tries to put on a smile but she sure isn’t fooling anyone especially me

“You okay babe?” I quickly sit next to her and pull her into my lap “Penny for your thoughts”

“I don’t think I can go through with chemotherapy Alex” she sighs

“Maggie”

“No Alex, you don’t understand. Being a cop and helping people is not just a job for me, it gives my life meaning. When my parents threw me out at 14, I felt completely helpless and abandoned and I vowed that day that I would help make sure that no one else ever felt like that. Being a cop helps me do that and if I am chained to a desk I can’t be out there helping people the way I want to” she insists

“Babe, if you refuse the chemotherapy you still won’t be able to go out in the field because the cancer will make you sicker and sicker. I know it’s extremely difficult to not go out in the field but it’s only a matter of months. Once the chemo works and your cancer is under control, you can go back out there” I try to reassure her while at the same time being realistic.

“I am just scared that I am going to lose who I am in this whole process” she mumbles into my shoulder clearly scared.

_My heart breaks for her and I can feel the tears pricking my eyelids_

“If you ever feel you are losing who you are, I will be right here to remind you exactly who you are and what you stand for” I promise “What do you need right now, babe?”

“Can you just hold me?” she asks in the smallest voice that I have ever heard from her.

_I tighten my hold on her and hug her while stroking her hair till she falls asleep_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie starts chemotherapy. Vicki gives Maggie a pep talk. Maggie and Alex revert to old behaviors and things come to a head between them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gets angsty. I promise it gets much lighter from the next chapter though.
> 
> This chapter is pretty Maggie heavy. It's her struggle so important to understand how she is feeling.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who left kudos and comments. Your support means a lot.

Alex’s POV

I could feel the nerves fluttering like butterflies in my stomach and by the strength of the grip with which Maggie was holding my hand it was clear I was not the only one being attacked by nerves. Today was the first day of Maggie’s chemotherapy treatment. We were supposed to meet Vicki at 9 AM so we left the apartment by 7:30 AM to account for the rush hour traffic.

We entered the conference room at exactly 9 AM to find Vicki already sitting there with a huge stack of papers in front of her.

She greeted us with a friendly smile on her face “So Maggie, have you decided what you want to do in regards to the clinical trial” she asked before taking a long sip of her coffee

“A certain someone here has reminded me at least 25 times over the last 2 days that it is the right thing to do” Maggie glares at me with a clear look of annoyance on her face

_Okay maybe I went a little overboard_

_I can deal with her being mad at me for a little while if it means that Maggie agrees to the trial_

“I agree with Alex. It is our best shot but you are the one who has to be ready for it, Maggie. It is your decision ultimately” Vicki intones seriously

“I will trust the doctors on this one. Since both of you believe enrolling in the trial is the best thing to do, go ahead and sign me up” Maggie finally reaches a decision

I squeeze her hand in relief and to remind her that I am there with her through every step of this journey

“You made the right call. I just need you to sign this paperwork before we can start. I already explained the potential side effects to you the last time but I can repeat them if you need” Vicki places the pile of papers in front of Maggie indicating the spots where she would like her to sign.

“There’s no need for that. I remember them” Maggie answers as if steeling herself against what’s about to come.

“As I mentioned previously, we are going to be aggressive with the treatment. Normally, a chemo cycle is 1 week chemo followed by 3 weeks recovery but in your case we are going to do 2 weeks chemo followed by 2 weeks recovery. I want to keep you in the hospital for this 1st round so that we can gauge how the chemo is affecting your body and make adjustments as needed. Any other questions before we take you down to the treatment room?” Vicki further lays out the details

“I would like to say something. I would like to help with the clinical trial. I completely respect that it’s your trial Vicki and I will not interfere in it. But, I would like to help with fine tuning any research or any small tweaks that need to be made” I sincerely offer

_Anything to help Maggie_

“I would be happy to let you help on the trial, Alex. It will be nice working with you and it’s always good to have a fresh perspective” Vicki accepts graciously.

“Thanks Vicki” I smile gratefully

“Anytime” she smiles back “Let me take you down to the treatment room so that we can get started”

* * *

 

Vicki walks us down to the treatment room where she introduces us to the nurse who will be actually in charge of administering the chemo. Vicki makes some notes on Maggie’s chart and explains them to the nurse indicating which protocol she wants followed.

I stare in awe at the other brave people who are in the room receiving their medication. They are happily engrossed in reading their newspaper or book or watching a video on their tablet while the medicine drips into their vein. It serves to remind me that we as humans can adapt to a lot when faced with adversity.

I am broken out of my musing by the nurse leading us to an empty treatment chair “Right this way Maggie. Let’s get you all set up. You will feel a slight pinch when I insert the needle”

Maggie looks like a terrified little girl at the thought of the needle “Just hold my hand and squeeze as tight as you need. Look at me babe and not at the needle” I soothe

It seems to work because there is barely a wince from her as the nurse hooks up the IV and the chemo drugs start entering her system.

“This is not so bad” Maggie smiles after a few minutes “Not as scary as I thought”

_I know the real hell will start a couple of hours from now but I don’t want to break her happy bubble that she is in right now so I keep my mouth shut_

I just squeeze her hand and smile back in return as the poison continues to drip into her vein.

Almost a couple of hours later the nurse helps Maggie into a wheel chair and wheels her to her room. I can already tell the chemotherapy has started to make her feel sick. She looks nauseous and her skin has turned pale.

I know what will help her feel better

As the nurse helps Maggie into the hospital bed I excuse myself for a few minutes “I will be right back babe. I have to get something” I kiss her forehead.

She weakly nods indicating she heard me.

When I return to the room a little while later I find that Maggie is not in the bed and I hear the heartbreaking sound of her retching and throwing up. I quickly enter the bathroom to find her sitting on the floor hunched over the toilet.

I sit down next to her and gently rub her back “It’s okay Maggie. I am here now”

“It hurts” she mumbles

“I know babe. Are you done for now?” I gently ask

“I think so” she replies weakly

I quickly flush the toilet and scoop her into my arms to carry her back to the bed.

Once she is settled in comfortably, I remember what I had brought for her “I got something that will help you feel better”

“What’s that” she is clearly curious.

I display my purchase with a flourish “Popsicles. 5 different flavors. Lime, orange, strawberry, key lime pie and black cherry. Take your pick”

She looks highly doubtful “Sugar free popsicles. You really think they will help?”

I smile in response “Trust me on this. Just try one Maggie”

She opens the lime flavored one and hesitantly takes a few licks “Hmmm you were right. It is helping settle my stomach”

“Don’t sound so surprised babe. I am usually right” I smirk

I feel the popsicle wrapper hit my forehead

“Don’t let it go to your head Danvers” Maggie gives me the stink eye

I just shrug and start eating the orange popsicle.

* * *

 

Maggie’s POV

It has been 13 days since my 1st chemotherapy session and even my rigorous police training or the toughest fight on the street could not have prepared me for this. I spent most evenings throwing up and in pain. I was scared to touch my hair since I could feel it start to get thinner and small clumps were starting to fall out. Tomorrow, I finally got to go home for a 2 week recovery period and I for one couldn’t wait.

I look up when there is a soft knock on the door. “Mind if I come in” Vicki pokes her head in

“Please come in” I give her a small smile.

“I know Alex is in the lab helping my team so I thought I would come keep you company” Vicki says with a friendly smile.

“Yeah, I requested her to do so. She was hovering again” I admitted with a small laugh

“How are you feeling?” Vicki changes the topic picking up on the fact I didn’t want to talk about Alex right now.

“Other than the throwing up and bone deep pain, I have never been better” I snark

“You are pretty incredible Maggie. The fact that you can still laugh after going through what anyone would call a harrowing experience makes me admire you even more. You are one strong woman” Vicki gives me a look full of admiration and support.

“Well I do have a pretty great support system. Alex and you and Dr. Kelly. Even though Alex seems to be turning into a helicopter”

“As oncologists, we don’t have a bunch of happy stories. But I can feel it in my bones that you are going to be my happy story that I can tell other patients about to give them hope. We are going to get you through this Maggie. Just know you can always confide in me if you ever need to talk. Sometimes it helps to talk to a person who is not too close to you emotionally. We all need more friends”

“I will definitely keep that in mind friend. Thank you” I smile at her with my dimples showing genuinely grateful for her support and understanding.

“Also, I don’t want to interfere in your relationship but I think you should talk to Alex. Don’t let it fester too long or it will explode at the worst time. I let things fester with my husband and now things are a complete mess” she confides

“Everything okay?” I ask concerned

“That’s a story for another day” she tucks my hair behind my ear “I will see you later. Alex is back” she points to the door where Alex is standing with her arms crossed

“See you tomorrow” I agree

* * *

 

Alex walks over to my bed and hands me a cup of Jello pudding “I got this for you”

“Thanks Alex” I smiled

I notice that she is refusing to make eye contact with me “Was Vicki flirting with you?” she finally blurts out.

“Of course not. We were just talking” I scoff

“You were giving her big dimple filled smiles and she was tucking your hair behind your ear. Sure looked like flirting from where I was standing. I felt like I was interrupting an intimate conversation. Last couple of days you don’t even smile at me. It’s almost like you are annoyed by my presence” she sadly looks away

“Maybe I smiled at her because she was commending me for how I am handling a tough situation and for my strength. You on the other hand have started behaving like I am an invalid who can’t do anything for myself” I snap.

“That’s not true” she protests

“Isn’t it? I feel more like your patient than your girlfriend. You are constantly hovering, tracking everything I do and everything that I eat. You even made a chart for me and the nurses to remember which medicine I have to take at what time. I am not a child who constantly needs to be babied Danvers” I shake my head getting more and more annoyed.

“I am just trying to look out for you, Maggie” she softly tries to explain

“I appreciate that but looking out for me has turned into being over protective and controlling and it’s getting annoying” I angrily counter

She recoils as if hit.

_The look of hurt on her face makes me want to stop but it’s like a dam has been breached and the words keep on tumbling out_

* * *

 

“When was the last time we made love? It’s like you don’t desire me anymore” I look away hating to show my vulnerabilities

“Of course I want you Maggie. The more I know you the more I desire you. But what kind of selfish bitch do you think I am that I think about my own pleasure when my girlfriend is sick to her stomach and wincing in pain?”

“All I know is I am losing my sense of self and admit it or not you have been treating me differently. You have been biting your tongue throughout this discussion watching what you say whereas before you would have spoken your mind. That just shows that you do view me differently now” I frown.

“I am sorry if I was hovering or came across as controlling but I was just trying to protect you. I can’t lose you Maggie” she pleads

“You can’t protect me from this Alex and you sure as hell can’t control cancer” I yell “I am sorry if my words hurt you but it’s not your life that has been ripped apart and flipped upside down. I need a little time to figure out how to be me again and you are not helping. I am not breaking up or anything but I need some space away from you. Please leave now Alex and I think we shouldn’t see each other for a few days” I request

“Yeah, my world hasn’t changed a bit. I have to wake up every day knowing that the love of my life could be snatched from me and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. But, everything is exactly the same. I am going to go now. Give you your space” she says brokenly before kissing my forehead and walking away.

_I should be feeling lighter but all I feel is more pain_

I press the button on my morphine pump hoping it will help me sleep and forget this horrible day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Space family adopts Maggie. Alex has a surprise for Maggie. Maggie and Alex finally talk and open up to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is definitely lighter than the last one. Still a serious conversation is had but humor is mixed in.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who is reading and left kudos and comments. Your support means the world.

Maggie’s POV

“Maggie you ready?” the nurse asked trying to get my attention.

I was looking down staring intensely at my hands for the last 5 minutes lost deep in my own little world.

The first thing I did this morning when I woke up was reach out and call for Alex by sheer force of habit. I had then remembered with a sinking heart that I had sent her away.

_I know I was the one who asked her for space but I didn’t anticipate how much I would miss her or her taking care of me_

_I was starting to realize that for the first time in my adult life I truly needed someone and honestly that was scaring the shit out of me_

_My hands had been itching to pick up the phone and call her since last night and I was running out of excuses not to_

“Maggie, you ready to start?” the nurse repeated a little louder wanting to know whether I was ready to begin the chemotherapy session.

“Sorry, I was a little distracted. We can begin” I said a little sheepishly

“We can wait for Alex to get here before we start” she offered kindly

_I was terrified at the thought of having to go through the session without Alex by my side_

“She’s busy today. Let’s just begin” I steeled myself

* * *

 

“I know I am probably not the Danvers you were expecting but I am here” I looked up at the sound of the voice to see Kara and J’onn approaching my treatment chair.

“Only family and friends are allowed in the treatment area” the nurse looked at them suspiciously

“We are Maggie’s family” Kara replied confidently

“They are family” I confirmed tearfully letting the nurse know it was okay

_My heart was overflowing with love and gratitude for Alex_

_She honored my request for space by not coming herself but still showed her love and concern by sending Kara and J’onn to be with me_

While the nurse was collecting the supplies to start the IV, Kara and J’onn sat down on either side of my chair.

“You can squeeze either of our hands as hard as you want. We can take it” Kara offered with a smile on her face.

“Thank you” I smiled gratefully

I took her up on her offer and squeezed Kara’s hand as hard as I could when the nurse put a needle in my vein to set up the IV

“How is Alex?” I asked Kara a few moments later once the IV had been set up and the medication was dripping into my body.

“She got caught up at work but is otherwise fine” Kara answered cautiously

“I am guessing she told you what happened yesterday evening” I probed further

Kara had the classic deer in the headlights expression and opened and closed her mouth like a fish a few times.

“I know she told you. I realize that the Danvers sisters come as a package deal. I know you two tell each other everything and I am fine with that” I reassure her

“Alex is hurting” Kara says carefully not sure how much she should say.

_I close my eyes hating the fact that she is in pain_

* * *

 

“Your words cut her deep especially the part about her being controlling. One reason for that is when I was poisoned with Red Kryptonite last year I also accused her of controlling me and that shattered her. You re enforcing those words yesterday will just make her further convinced it is the truth and that it is her fault and knowing her she will blame herself” Kara hangs her head as if ashamed.

“I know she can come across as controlling and over protective but Alex loves so hard and so deep that she will do anything to keep the people the loves safe. You are the love of her life Maggie and she just wants to protect you” Kara continues softly

“I know that Kara. Everything was getting so overwhelming that I over reacted and ended up resenting her for trying to take care of me. I didn’t mean to hurt her” I whisper sadly

“It will be okay, Maggie. Alex is like a little Rottweiler. She will sulk and growl for a while but then will be protectively back by your side. We are your family Maggie and there is no getting rid of us” Kara squeezed my hand.

“Did you just call your sister a dog?” I giggled

“They are cute” Kara answered innocently.

J’onn had silently been watching Kara and me bond with a soft smile on his face.

He handed me a package of Choco’s with a grin “I got these for you for after the treatment. They will cheer you up. Just don’t tell Alex though. I don’t want her getting all growly and then nipping at my ankles”

“It will be our little secret” I laughed

“Also, once your treatment is done today Kara and I will be taking you home. Agent Danver’s orders” he further explained.

I just shook my head with a grin _._

_I was loving the feeling of finally having a sense of family again._

* * *

 

It was three hours later and I was finally home at Alex’s apartment for a 2 week recovery period. Kara had offered to take me to my apartment but I wanted to come to Alex’s apartment. J’onn had returned to the D.E.O as soon as we got back to the apartment.

“Can you please go get your sister and get her to come home?” I requested Kara while sucking on my strawberry popsicle.

“She should be done with her meeting by now. I will go check up on her and bring her home” she agreed before taking off through the apartment window.

It had been almost four hours since then and I hadn’t heard a peep from either of the Danvers sisters. I was getting frantic and was about to call each of their cell phones for the tenth time when I heard the front door open and saw Alex walk in.

“Are you guys okay? I was getting so worried. Neither of you was picking up your phones” I tried to catch my breath after launching into her.

“We are fine Maggie. Sorry to worry you but we had gone to pick up a little companion for you. Someone who will always be by your side and cheer you up and not annoy you” Alex started to explain what they had been up to

“What are you talking about?” I asked sounding as confused as I felt.

“Kara” Alex called out obviously signaling for her to come in.

A minute later Kara entered the apartment holding an adorable Husky puppy in her arms. It was white and black and was fast asleep curled up to Kara’s chest.

I greedily gestured Kara to come closer so that I could pet the puppy. I gently stroked my hand down it’s back and it sleepily opened it’s eyes. They were a beautiful shade of blue.

“He is so adorable Alex” I gushed

_First time in my life I had fallen in love with a male_

* * *

 

Alex took the puppy from Kara and kissed it’s forehead “It’s a girl and her name is Gertrude” Alex said proudly

“Gertrude, say hi to Mommy” Alex gently handed me the puppy

The puppy promptly licked my nose and curled back up against my chest for it’s nap.

“Did you hit your head Danvers? No way we are calling our dog Gertrude” I gave her my best are you serious expression

“You agreed to name our dog Gertrude” Alex pointed out

“I was stressed and thought you were dying so that doesn’t count. Gertrude is the name for a 90 year old grand mom not a puppy” I objected.

“There’s nothing wrong with Gertrude. It’s not like I am trying to name her Priscilla or Millicent” Alex stuck to her ground.

“I agree with Maggie, Alex. Gertrude is not a fun name for a puppy. I like Krypto” Kara added in her two cents

“It’s a girl Kara so no to Krypto” Alex rolls her eyes

“Fine but then I get to keep her tonight” Kara pouted

“That’s a good idea. Have some bonding time with your niece” I agreed and quickly handed Gertrude to Kara.

“No feeding Gertrude pot stickers or pizza. She will get sick” Alex warned Kara

“Fine” Kara agreed reluctantly before leaving.

* * *

 

“The being a bad ass is just an act Danvers. You are really such a softie and a total puppy mom already” I tease her with a laugh

She looks scandalized “I am not a softie. You take that back” she pokes me in the side.

“Nope” I giggle and poke her back.

Suddenly the mood shifts as she pulls back as if remembering something “You can get some rest if you want Maggie. I will get out of your way”

I grab her hand before she can walk away “Alex, what is going on?”

“This is what you wanted. You needed space so I am giving you space” she shrugs but I clearly see the hurt in her eyes

“Babe, please come sit with me for a while. I got rid of your sister and the puppy so that we could talk” I lead her to the couch.

I notice she looks uncomfortable and sits as far away from me as possible on the couch.

“You can come closer, I won’t bite unless you want me to” I crack a joke trying to lighten the tension. “Seriously Alex, please tell me what’s bothering you. We need to start being more honest with each other”

“I am tired of being rejected by you Maggie” she finally breaks

“Alex” I sigh

“I mean you rejected me that night at the bar which I get but then you turned me down when I proposed without giving me a reason. And now you resent me for trying to be there for you and take care of you so it feels just like another rejection” she tries to explain her insecurities

“Alex, you know why I turned down the proposal. I was just so overwhelmed with everything that I found out and then everything has happened in the last couple of weeks made me over react and lash out and push you away” I put forward my point of view hoping she understands.

“I get that Maggie. But just because I understand doesn’t make it hurt any less. It still makes me feel like I am not good enough” she looks away

“Alex, this is new territory for me. I have never had someone who actually wanted to protect me and who I needed so this is a learning curve for me. But I want you to know that I do need you Alex Danvers and that scared the shit out of me so I panicked and pushed you away. I am sorry if I hurt you, Alex. You are just not good enough, for me you are damn near perfect” I look deep into her eyes.

“I am sorry too, Maggie. I lost other people in my life like my dad and I had no control over the situation so I might have overcompensated when faced with the fear of losing you which is why I came across as too controlling and over protective. I will try cut back on it though” she offers

“I was not used to anyone taking care of me so I chafed at you trying to help initially but I have realized I actually love the feeling of having someone unconditionally in my corner. So please don’t cut back, Danvers” I pull her into me for a soft kiss

“Just talk to me, Maggie. Like you said we need to be more honest with each other. If you are feeling overwhelmed and my behavior annoys you, just tell me and I will back off” she requests

“You really are not going anywhere, are you?” I look at her affectionately truly believing for the first time that she will stay with me through everything “It will be hard to unlearn old bad habits but for you I will” I promise

“I will too” she pledges in return. “I love you, Maggie and I will never leave you”

“I love you too, Danvers” I smile softly cuddled into her side.

* * *

 

“Also babe, you are not going to be the one naming our kids” I inform her only half teasing

“Gertrude is a great name” she defends hotly before realizing what I said “You want kids with me someday?” she stares at me with awe.

“Yeah, we can adopt a little older alien child who needs a loving home. Babies are cute but poopy diapers just aren’t my thing” I grimace just at the thought of them

“Glad we are on the same page Maggie” Alex laughs for the first time that evening.

After a few moments of companionable silence, Alex speaks up concerned “What do you need babe? You must be exhausted. Should I get you another popsicle?”

I shift a bit before answering looking her straight in the eye “I need you, Danvers”

“Maggie” she bites her lip in uncertainty “I don’t want to hurt you”

“You won’t. I know how gentle you are with me” I insist

“Please Alex. I want us to be Alex and Maggie tonight. No cancer talk. No chemo talk. Just us being together” I gently demand

She responded by pulling my face up and meshing our mouths in a passionate kiss. She then lifted me into her arms and carried me into the bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Maggie reconnect. Alex and Maggie get news which might prove to be their biggest challenge yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter picks up where the last one left off.
> 
> A little smut at the beginning before things get serious again in the end.
> 
> This chapter sets up the next 2 chapters.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who is reading the story and left kudos and comments. The support means a lot

Alex’s POV

I respond by pulling her face up and meshing our mouths in a passionate kiss. I then lift her up into my arms and carry her into the bedroom.

I set her down and start kissing her neck and shoulder and move the collar of her shirt so that I can taste more of her skin…her skin tastes intoxicating and I was hooked to the feeling.  

_I was surprised at how sweaty my palms were…the truth was I was incredibly nervous. I mean Maggie and I have done this countless times…I shouldn't be this nervous. My main thought was....I want to make it perfect for her. The thought of accidentally hurting Maggie made me feel out of control.........for a type A control freak that was pretty darn scary._

Once I had emerged out of my internal thought ramble I noticed Maggie staring at me inquisitively.

"You okay babe?" she stroked my shoulder.

"Yeah…I'm just a little nervous. I am still worried that I might hurt you" I answered honestly.

“You won’t. I trust you. Now that’s enough talking Danvers” she ordered just a little bossily.  

I groaned before pulling her into my arms. I placed a soft kiss on the nape of her neck, and then lingering feather like touches on her nose. I knew these places always caused the softest of moans to free themselves from Maggie’s mouth.

“I need you Maggie” I moaned before I licked a line from her neck to her ear, sucking on and biting the soft sensitive skin. Maggie could only lay there as the air she took in between her teeth was the only sound she could make other than her rampant heartbeat.

She grabbed the back of my head and pulled me closer, feeling teeth pull at her neck and then my tongue sweep across her warm skin to soothe the bite. We smiled at each other. I leaned in again and kissed her slow and soft. Maggie was still smiling in between kisses.

“Babe, look at me.” I pleaded. I wanted her to see what she did to me and how she made me feel.

She looked into my eyes and the love she saw there was reflected in her own. I leaned forward and kissed her slowly each one a small tickle of my tongue until the final one showed all the passion I felt for her. All we could do was surrender to our need for each other. I straddled her thighs and saw her watch me intently as I slowly and gently began to undress her.

Once I had removed her shirt and bra I took my time to run my palms over Maggie’s breasts and watched as her head fell back with a moan for more. It felt like once again it was the first time I was seeing her body and it was entirely captivating.

I ran my hands up her thighs and pulled at her jeans and panties gently dragging them down her legs and licked my way back up her thigh.

“Are you ok?” I asked gently wanting to be sure she was comfortable with what was going to happen next.

“Yes. No teasing. I want you Alex” She moaned.

_I planned to take my time tonight…..I was going to worship every inch of her skin_

* * *

 

I dropped my head down to lick soft, slow and wet circles on her stomach. Each one inching closer to her breasts, finally running my tongue under and up to the nipple. Pulling with my teeth watching as Maggie moved further up the bed writhing from the pleasure she was receiving.

I moved up to kiss her and to keep her in place, laying my body flat on hers and sharing a strong and fervent kiss. I used this position to grab her thighs and open them up a little further.

“Just relax and enjoy babe” I soothed as I started my descent. Tickling her bellybutton with a run of my wet and warm tongue, Maggie groaned as I paid homage to every part of her body.

I kissed her hips, from side to side slowly tickling with the tip of my tongue. I used my tongue to open Maggie’s folds and was rewarded with the sweetest scent. My eyes were then fixated on her throbbing clit. I took it into my mouth and sucked hard causing her to moan louder and to scream her desire.

“Please Alex.” She moaned.  As I released the cradling hold I held on Maggie’s clit, I let my hand trace up her thigh scratching a hot trail to her entrance.  

I let my tongue swirl around her entrance a few times and finally let my fingers take over. I set a gentle pace and then quickened it. She leaned forward trying to kiss me but she couldn’t keep her head from falling back. Her hands were digging into my shoulders. I could feel the rattle of the moans traveling through her throat on her lips. Each one louder than the last. One final thrust of my fingers and she flew over the edge.

“Alex” She moaned loudly.

As she shudders in my lap trying to recover, I greedily licked up her juices moaning at how good she tastes.

I start to move out of her but she shook her head no, she couldn’t get her words out just yet but it was clear she wanted me to stay inside of her for just a little longer. I happily obliged and stayed with one arm holding Maggie and gently kissing any spot on her I could. She laid her head on my shoulder and said what she was trying get out earlier, “Uhm…that was….you are pretty good at this make up sex thing. I might have to pick more fights from now on” She said with a goofy grin on her face.

I then gently removed myself from Maggie and wrapped both my arms tightly around her. I released one arm to lay Maggie back and we welcomed the cool softness of the sheets against our overheated bodies.

“Did I hurt you?” I asked softly.

“Ask me that one more time Danvers and the only one feeling pain is going to be you” she punches my shoulder with a threatening expression on her face

“Sorry” I sheepishly mumble.

“You are lucky I love you” she mutters grumpily

“Yeah….yeah I am” I reply with a goofy grin of my own resting my head on her chest. “I love you too”

* * *

 

Maggie’s POV

It has been 3 months today since my first chemotherapy session. I underwent another extensive round of blood tests and scans yesterday to assess how well the chemotherapy and the clinical trial drug worked. We were meeting Vicki in about an hour to discuss the results and then plan what to do next. I was waiting for Alex to get home from walking Gertrude or rather Gertrude walking Alex so that we could go the hospital.

The last couple of weeks I had started having severe headaches and balance problems where I even fell over a few times. The bald patches on my scalp were getting a little hard to hide but I refused to wear a wig. I just had to come up with more imaginative ways to cover the bald patches with my remaining hair.

Excited barking let me know my girls were home.

“Good girl Gertrude. You only ran away from me 5 times today” Alex praised Gertrude with a hint of sarcasm.

“Pushover” I coughed into my hand

“Like you could do better” Alex glares.

“I am a cop who has trained plenty of dogs before. Maybe she would stop running from you if you hadn’t named her Gertrude” I chuckled

“Ha ha. Talk is cheap Sawyer. Any way we better go. We have to drop Gertrude at Aunt Kara’s on the way to the hospital” Alex went into full Agent Danvers mode.

“Also, before I forget I got these for us” she excitedly pulled out a couple of beanies from her coat pocket.

_I spoke too soon…my nerd is back_

“What are those for?” I gestured to them in horror

“I know you don’t want to wear a wig so I got you this instead. This will cover your scalp and look good” she explains excitedly

“Look like a dork is what you mean. I don’t do dorky” I protested

“I will wear one with you. We can be dorks together” she offered magnanimously.

“You already are a dork so not a huge sacrifice on your part” I pointed out

“Count yourself lucky I got you a plain black one. Kara wanted me to get you a Supergirl one” Alex shrugged.

“Hand it over now” I quickly put on the black beanie ignoring Alex’s fit of laughter.

* * *

 

“Come in guys” Vicki called us in after we knocked on her office door.

“Nice, matching head gear. Cute” Vicki giggled upon seeing Alex and me wearing beanies.

“We have Dr. Danvers here to thank for that one” I gave a fond but exasperated look to my nerd.

“Makes sense. Alex has always been a nerd” Vicki laughs and I can’t help but join in.

“As far as I remember today is not make fun of Alex day. Let’s move on to the medicine talk” Alex protests

Vicki composes herself before opening the file in front of here “We have the results from all the tests and scans we ran yesterday”

Before she can continue further I speak up “Can you give us the good news first. I know by now how you doctor’s work. There’s always good news and bad news”

“The good news is the tests and scans for your breast and liver came up clean. As of yesterday, we could not detect any cancerous cell in either of those 2 areas which is really miraculous after only 3 months of chemo. Alex and I made some tweaks to the clinical trial drug and it seems to have made a huge difference” Vicki reports with a smile on her face.

“And the bad news?” I ask needing to know before I let myself get excited about the good news

* * *

 

“It’s more like mixed news” Vicki hedges “The good news is we now know why you have been having the neuro symptoms lately and we can treat it. The bad news is the chemo couldn’t shrink the met in your brain and it has grown causing the symptoms you have been experiencing recently”

“How do you suggest treating it?” Alex takes over seeing that I am clearly overwhelmed.

“I took a look at the MRI and other scans. The margins are clean so I suggest a keyhole craniotomy to surgically remove the tumor. The tumor is in the temporal lobe so it can affect memory. Luckily, I have spoken to the best neurosurgeon on the West Coast to perform the surgery” Vicki lays out her plan.

“Are we sure they will agree?” Alex looks concerned.

“Yes, I am sure. He can be a huge ass at times but fortunately for you, I am married to him” Vicki replies confidently.

“So, you basically suggest cutting into my brain?” I question trying to wrap my head around what I am hearing

“That is why I am suggesting Keyhole surgery. It will be a lot less invasive and have a much shorter recovery time” Vicki tries to reassure me.

“But it’s still cutting into my brain?” I repeat

Vicki nods her head

I close my eyes to try and gain my composure “What if I don’t have the surgery?”

Vicki looks pained before answering “We can try more chemo to slow it down but you would probably have 4-6 months to live”

Alex grabs me by the shoulder and looks me in the eye “Maggie no. Look at me babe”

“I am just so tired of fighting Alex. I am so tired” I sigh

“I know babe. You have been so incredibly brave and strong but you can’t give up at the last hurdle, Maggie. We are so close to beating this thing. We still have a lifetime of firsts to do together. I know you are tired but you don’t have to do it alone. This is not just your fight Maggie so let’s fight this together” Alex pleads.

“Okay, let’s do the surgery” I snuggle into Alex’s arms drawing strength from her embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie has brain surgery. Alex and Maggie take some leaps separately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is coming to an end guys. Next chapter is the last one.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who is reading and left kudos and comments. The support means a lot.

Alex’s POV

The next day Maggie and I headed to the hospital so that she could get admitted for the pre -operative procedures. Now that Maggie had decided to have the surgery, Vicki suggested it be done as soon as possible before the tumor grew even bigger in size.

The admission process went smoothly but she was still looking very weak and pale so I insisted on putting her in a wheelchair and taking her to the room.

“I am not an invalid Danvers. I can walk” she growled

“I know you can babe but save your energy for later” I tried to pacify her “If you get in the wheel chair, I promise to get you vegan pizza for dinner instead of the crappy hospital food” I further bargained.

“Throw in vegan ice cream along with that and we have a deal” she counter offered

“Chocolate flavor from Ben and Jerry’s” I gave in

She still looked grumpy but willingly lowered herself into the wheelchair.

I led her into her room and helped her onto the bed and insisted she lay down.

We looked up when there was a knock at the door. It was Vicki and a handsome stranger in a white coat.

“I am glad that you guys are already checked in” Vicki greeted us with a smile. “I wanted to introduce you to Dr. David Williams, one of the best neurosurgeons on the West Coast. Dave, this is one of the strongest women I know and one of my favorite patients, Maggie Sawyer and her girlfriend and one of my oldest friends, Dr. Alex Danvers” she made the appropriate introductions.

“I am also this one’s husband” Dave added pointing towards Vicki. I noticed them sharing uncomfortable glances with each other.

_Oooh Drama….I hope they use this chance to talk to each other_

* * *

 

Dave shook Maggie’s hand with a warm smile on his face “It’s a pleasure to meet you Maggie. I have taken a look at your scans and wanted to explain the surgery to you briefly. I will be performing a keyhole craniotomy in which I will make a small incision behind your ear so that I can access the tumor in your brain and remove it. I have performed this surgery many times before and I am confident we can get your whole tumor out” he explained reassuringly.

“Thank you” Maggie smiled at him gratefully

He turned towards me “Alex Danvers, the best friend from Midvale. I have heard a lot about you” he grinned

He was better looking than I had expected and had a dreamy air about him. I then remembered one night at the beach in Midvale where Vicki had described in detail what her dream guy would be like.... _looks like she found her McDreamy._

“I have heard a lot about you since yesterday” I joked.

“That’s good. At least she remembered to talk about me” Dave gave Vicki another accusing look which caused her to look away.

_Something was definitely wrong….I needed to talk to Vicki about this_

“We better get going. Do you have any questions for us Maggie or else we will see you tomorrow morning before we take you in for surgery” Vicki was clearly looking for an out from the uncomfortable situation.

“Actually I do need to talk about something. I want to sign the DNR form before the surgery” Maggie spoke up.

Dave, Vicki and I stared at her in complete shock.

“Are you sure Maggie? That is a big decision” Vicki asked finally

“Yes, I am. If something goes wrong during surgery I don’t want to end up lying comatose on this bed with some machine breathing for me” Maggie replied dead serious

“Maggie, let’s talk about this” I start to try to reason with her.

“No Alex, this is one of those boundaries I need you to respect. I need to do this for me” she said firmly.

“Okay” I sighed not arguing back.

_It was her decision and I was going to respect it even if it was killing me to do so._

“The nurse will include the DNR form in the paperwork she will bring by later. Dave and I will see you tomorrow morning” Vicki said her goodbyes and they left the room.

“I am ready for pizza and ice cream” Maggie looked at me hopefully

“Your wish is my command. I will be back in an hour” I gave her a light kiss on her lips before heading out of the room.

* * *

 

It had been about an hour since Maggie had been taken into surgery and I had already paced a hole in the floor of the waiting area. Kara had been waiting with me faithfully but had just stepped out on Supergirl duty promising to be back as soon as she could.

“Coffee?” Vicki stood there holding out a cup of coffee

“Thanks” I smiled at her gratefully

“She will be okay. Dave is great at what he does” she tries to calm my fears.

“I know. Is everything okay with you two?” I ask concerned

“We had a big fight about something which in hindsight was completely stupid and then I ran away and came here. We hadn’t spoken since then till I called him for Maggie’s surgery” Vicki begins to open up.

“Talk to him Vicki. I can tell he really loves you” I try my best to encourage her.

“I know he does but it’s complicated” she sighs

“Relationships always are but you got to fight for them. You just can’t give up. I am sure he is worth it” I counter.

“So when are you popping the question to Maggie? I can tell you are completely, irrevocably head over heels in love with her” Vicki deftly changes the topic putting me on the hot seat instead

“It’s complicated” I echo her words from earlier earning a shove to the side.

“I want to marry her but I don’t want to overwhelm her. She still has some commitment and trust issues. She already turned me down once so I am a little scared to take that leap again” I try and explain my hesitation.

“Life is short Alex. No time to be a chicken shit. These last few months should have taught you that” Vicki offers sagely.

“You are right and I will stop being a chicken shit if you will. I will propose to Maggie and you will go talk to Dave” I offer with a grin.

“Fine. Maybe he can be my date to your wedding” she laughs

It has been just over 5 hours since Maggie was taken into surgery when Dave finally walks out to give us an update.

“How is she?” I ask him anxiously.

“The surgery went well. I was able to remove all of the tumor. The neurological effects from the surgery we can only gauge once she wakes up. She has been taken to the ICU for post op recovery. You can go sit with her till she wakes up” Dave patiently updates me.

“Thank you so much Dave. I really owe you one” I say sincerely.

“I will collect later. Go sit with Maggie. You will feel better and she will feel better knowing you are there even if she can’t see you” He says kindly.

* * *

 

Maggie’s POV

_Where the hell am I?_

I slowly opened my eyes and tried adjusting my sight to the light. 

I found myself lying in my old childhood room.

“Finally…” Mom smiled.

_This was the very same voice that comforted me in my dreams during my stressful nights at work._

“Am I dead?” I slowly asked.

“No you’re not dead…” she chuckled. “You have got so much more to live for Maggie or rather someone to live for” She extended her hand towards me.

“I was having brain surgery. What happened after that?” I grabbed her hand and pulled myself up.

“We better hurry up. Your father will be upset if we are late for breakfast” she laughed.

I couldn’t help but feel extremely confused which further intensified when my father walked into the room.

 “Mija you are awake…how are you feeling right now?” He looked at me with his deep brown eyes. His smile was loving and concerned.

“This is not real. You disowned me when I was 14” I pulled away from him.

“We are sorry for that Maggie. I should have accepted you instead of shunning you. You deserved better from us” My dad slowly replies.

 “Yes I did” I acknowledge angrily “Anyway, I need to go somewhere and I-I need to be somewhere else...with Alex” 

“You finally found yourself the right girl for you. Took your time but better late than never” Mom says approvingly “But you are still scarred from what we did to you that you are scared to leap. Don’t let our mistakes hold you back from your future”

 “So what am I supposed to do with things? Just go for it. I mean yeah I will fight for us …sometimes the consequences do scare me but I will fight for her” I said.

“Just jump Maggie. Like I taught you to when you were a little girl” Dad says calmly

“You need to marry that girl. Maybe have a kid or two. It’s about time I get grandkids” Mom said seriously

“Mom stop” I protest

“Are you ready to make a choice?” Dad asked softly

 “About what?” I asked confused.

_I must be really on the good drugs_

“Maggie, you either take the leap and go be with Alex or you can stay here with us holding on to your fears. It’s your choice” He explained. 

* * *

 

I feel like someone is stabbing at my head with a thousand knives. Strangely the rest of me feel’s numb. I can’t feel anything else but a throbbing headache and a burning in my throat.

My thought’s are a jumble of brain surgeries, childhood bedrooms and seeing my parents. I have never felt more disoriented or confused.

I shakily open my eyes and worriedly try to look around. I am greeted by the sight of Alex squeezing my hand and telling me she’s here. Vicki is standing in the background taking a look at my vitals on the monitors.

“Thank god you are awake, Maggie. I love you” Alex gently kisses my forehead with tears streaming down her face.

“Here babe drink this” she helps me sip some water which feels like a soothing balm to my parched throat.

“Welcome back, Maggie. How are you feeling? I will let Dave know you are awake” Vicki smiles at me with clear relief.

“Do I know you guys and who’s Maggie?” I stare between Alex and Vicki with complete and utter confusion written on my face.

Alex and Vicki look at each other completely petrified.

“Page the other Dr. Williams right now” Vicki barks at the nurse.

_I take one more look at their faces and I can’t hold it in anymore…..I burst out laughing even though it hurts like hell_

“The look on both of your faces” I chuckle with glee.

“Do you want to kill her or should I” Alex asks Vicki deadly serious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie gets test results. Super family fluff. Alex asks an important question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it for this story guys. Thank you so much for coming with me on this sometimes painful journey. Hopefully will be back soon with another story.

Maggie’s POV

I was nervously fiddling with my jacket with one hand and drumming on the desk in Vicki’s office with the other. It had been 3 months since my brain surgery and we were here to discuss my 3 month post op scans and reports. The recovery after surgery had not been easy to say the least but with Alex unfailingly by my side each day was a little easier than the one before. I had actually cried a little the day my hair had started to grow back to normal.

“Are you ready to hear the results?” Vicki asked with a smile on her face.

“Let’s do this” I nodded resolutely squeezing Alex’s hand for support

_Vicki’s smile had to mean good things right…..she wouldn’t be smiling if the cancer was back_

“After analyzing all the scans and reports I am happy to report that we found no tumors or evidence of cancerous cells. You still have a long way to go and we will be running thorough tests every 3 months but as of today, I am thrilled to call you cancer free. Congratulations Maggie” Vicki beamed with excitement.

_You could knock me over with a feather right now….I still couldn’t believe that the nightmare might be over_

“Thank you Vicki for everything” I pulled her into a hug to express my gratitude.

“My pleasure Maggie. You were such a warrior in fighting this disease that you deserve every bit of good news. Remember I told you one day that you will end up being my happy story and I was right” she chuckled.

“I am really glad you were” I grin.

“Also, based on your latest reports I clear you to return to active duty. But Maggie, please pace yourself and ease back into it” Vicki requests.

“Don’t worry I have helicopter Danvers here with me. She will keep an eye on me” I nudge Alex teasingly.

“Damn straight” Alex agrees

“Okay I am heading back to Metropolis with Dave tonight. I will see you guys in 3 months with hopefully more good news” Vicki hugged us both goodbye.

“Glad you got your head out of your ass and sorted things out with Dave” Alex grinned at her.

“I kept up my end of the bargain. Now you need to keep up your end, missy” Vicki poked Alex in the chest with her finger.

“I will, I will. Just waiting for the right time and right place” Alex glared back.

_Hmmmm I wonder what they are talking about_

_I will just tickle it out of Alex later_

* * *

 

As I opened the precinct door and headed towards my office, I noticed my palms were sweaty. Being a cop is like riding a bike, you never forget once you have learned how but it still felt strange and unnerving to be returning after an almost 6 month leave of absence.

As I opened my office door I was surprised to see the blinds had been opened. As I closed the door the lights came on and I heard loud shouts of **_WELCOME BACK_**

I nearly jumped out of my skin.

Alex and our friends and family were standing there laughing at the look of shock on my face because of the surprise party. I couldn't believe my eyes. There were around 15 people in the room including my team of officers.

"Hey babe. Welcome back . I am so proud of you" Alex welcomed me with a sweet kiss. 

I was so happy and touched by all the love I was receiving that all that had happened in the last few months caught up with me and I could feel the tears streaming down my face.

Alex pulled me into her arms “Let it out babe. I got you” she soothed.

After a few moments she pulled away and retrieved something from her coat pocket “I got you a welcome back present”

“A flash grenade” I squealed in excitement beaming from ear to ear.

“It was either that or a bouquet of flowers and I know you would take the flash grenade any day” she says rather smugly

“I knew we were right for each other Danvers” I grin

Kara and J’onn step forward and I receive a warm hug from both before Kara hands me an envelope “This is from J’onn, Alex and me. Use it wisely” she smiles.

I open from the envelope to find a certificate signed by J’onn stating that I had dibs on the next 5 alien crime scenes the D.E.O came across.

“This is perfect, you guys” I shook my head in disbelief.

_I can’t believe how well they knew and understood me_

“These two may or may not have cried a little at having to give up a few crime scenes” J’onn rolled his eyes and pointed at Alex and Kara.

“I can totally see that. I love you guys but you two are complete crime scene hogs” I laughed

“We are not” they protested in unison

“Do I need to remind you of how we met, Danvers. You strutted onto the crime scene like you owned the damn place waving your fake badge around” I rolled my eyes

“I do not strut” Alex looked affronted.

“Don’t kill me but you do sometimes strut, Alex” Winn spoke up looking petrified.

“No one asked you Schott” Alex growled at him lifting her index finger threateningly.

“Don’t be a grump Danvers. I find it sexy when you strut” I whisper into her ear.

“Don’t make me reconsider giving you the flash grenade” she warns

“Too late babe. It’s already in my possession and there’s no way you are getting it back now” I stuck my tongue out at her.

“Alright you three, time to get back to work. We have things to do” J’onn commands.

I can’t help but giggle as Alex, Kara and Winn follow J’onn out obediently like 3 baby ducks.

* * *

 

Later that evening, I am resting on the couch with my feet up recuperating from my first day back at work. Though I was only there for a few hours, it drained a lot of my energy. I look down from the case file I was reading to find Gertrude sitting at attention next to the couch.

“Hey girl” I lovingly pet her. “Such a good girl. You know Mommy doesn’t allow you on the couch so you are staying down” I praise

She is still staring longingly at the couch hoping I will eventually crack and let her come up.

“I know your game Gertrude. I also know that your silly Mama spoils you and lets you on here when she thinks I am not watching. Mama thinks she is a freaking Ninja but I am onto her” I laugh

“You know that I can hear you right” Alex calls out from the other room

“Of course. What’s the fun in insulting you when you can’t hear me, Danvers” I sass.

Gertrude still hasn’t moved an inch and is waiting expectantly.

I sigh and walk up to her “It’s not going to work Gertrude. Go get your dinner” I tell her gently.

It’s then that I notice a small envelope attached to her collar. I remove it and open it curious to see what’s inside.

I open the envelope to find a small note inside.

**_Hey Pretty Lady,_ **

**_Roses are red_ **

**_Violets are blue_ **

**_Please make me the happiest_ **

**_By saying “I do”_ **

Attached to the note is a beautiful white gold engagement ring with a 2 carat diamond centerpiece.

“Danvers” I shriek caught by total surprise.

“About time you found it. I was getting worried you would never detect the envelope, Detective Sawyer” she jokes while walking up to me.

“Alex” I started to speak but Alex silenced me by placing a finger on my lip

* * *

 

I gasp as she takes the ring from my hand and gets down on one knee “I love you, not just for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. You challenge me in the best ways possible and force me to come out of my comfort zone. Maggie, these last few months have shown me we can overcome anything as long as we are together. I feel like a better and stronger person when I am with you. When you are by my side I feel anything is possible and I feel like scaling new heights. You make my life complete and I don’t want to spend another single minute when I can’t call you mine. Maggie Sawyer, will you complete me by becoming my wife. Will you marry me?” Alex pours her heart out gazing at me with hopeful, teary eyes.

“Yes” I whisper overcome with pure happiness as she gets up and proudly puts the ring onto my finger.

“I was earlier going to propose with the others present with fireworks and all but then I realized this is more us. You, me and Gertrude. Kara is going to throw us a big engagement party anyways” Alex smiled

“This was perfect babe. I love you Alex Danvers” I pull her down into a passionate kiss.

“I love you too, Maggie Sawyer-Danvers” she whispers with the softest smile on her face

“Oh and Alex, no more poems ever” I tweak her nose

“Come on babe, it wasn’t that bad” she whines

“Stick to catching bad aliens and science, Danvers” I giggle.

I laugh as I feel a slap on my ass and then shriek as Alex chases me into the bedroom slamming the door shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think :)

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think :)


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